Power Rankings

A forfeit isn’t the most impressive result to justify #1 in the Power Rankings, but as the only remaining undefeated team, White Load-Us has earned this slot. Lots of weapons on this team and a roster that bounces back when crazy shenanigans are happening around them.

This team reminds me of…Victoria Ratliff: This team has been like a tsunaaamiiii this season, overwhelming the competition. Hopefully they can stay off the Lorazepam and finish the season strong.

Forest Green has been pummeling teams the past several weeks behind an unstoppable offensive onslaught. At this point, the only team who seems like they can stand in their way is themselves.

This team reminds me of…Laurie: Episode 1 she seemed like she was the odd one out, but by the end of the season she was warming our hearts and leading her friends to a happy ending. After a tumble out of the window during Week 2, the Emerald Edgers have been on fire.

Coral has been quietly destroying teams this season with a workmanlike attitude that will make them a tough out in the playoffs. A firm drubbing of previously undefeated Navy should put the rest of the league on notice.

This team reminds me of… Kate. She seems sweet, but she’s keeping secrets and will reveal them to knock you out when you aren’t ready for it.

After scraping by winless Brown last week, Iron Gray regained their footing this week with a solid two-touchdown win. A close first half gave way to a dominant second period that left little doubt as to the outcome.

This team reminds me of… Belinda: She had to fight for herself all season but in the end she was left with $5 million in the bank. Not too shabby.

Avast, Navy’s run as an undefeated team finally ran aground – and by 40 points, no less. Is it a fluke, or has the treasure chest been emptied? We’ll see if they can right the ship next week against a seaworthy Neon Yellow squad.

This team reminds me of…Chelsea: She was a fan favorite all season who was tragically slaughtered at the end.

Black proved their mettle this week by going toe-to-toe with a very tough Neon Yellow squad and gritting out a one-point win. Jim has had a solid season at QB, spreading the love to several receivers. Shoutout to Juan for pulling down a one-handed catch this week that had the sideline whooping.

This team reminds me of…Sritala: Much like certain stars on this team, age is no object for our queen, who uses her accumulated knowledge and sharp senses to take you down.

This is a really quality team that has dropped two very close games against tough teams. Oriya and Chad have been carrying this team on the score sheet, but their success has been a group effort as many players have stepped up with solid play.

This team reminds me of…Mook: Mook is kind, maybe a little sassy, but otherwise just very pleasant. Just when it seemed like she could be a secret villain, it turns out she was willing to give a nice guy like Gaitok a chance.

Seafoam has been playing on the edge all season, with close wins and close losses defining their play as a team. A palate-cleansing win against Cardinal this week may be just what they needed to bust out of their slump from last week.

This team reminds me of…Saxon Ratliff: This team is a little unpredictable and has a certain swagger that makes me feel like they would enjoy a protein shake. Don’t read too much into it, I had to cover all the main characters.

Red kept marching along this week with a close win over winless Carolina. There was high drama in this one, as Carolina looked like they could to seal the deal but Red broke their hearts with a late TD and a painfully close goal line stop to seal the win.

This team reminds me of…Pam. Doesn’t make too much noise all season, but then pops up to read you down and throw you off your game.

A week after Royal pulled into a first place tie in their division, Forest laid the lumber on this team and knocked them down the standings. Royal has been streaky this season, if they want to contend for a title they’ll need to find their early season form again.

This team reminds me of…Chloe. She’s a bad b*tch who can get stuff done but gets herself tangled up in other people’s drama.

A back and forth affair with Woodland Brown provided high dramatics this week. Refs were called in from far and wide to adjudicate the rules in a tense battle that gave everyone heartburn.

This team reminds me of…Gaitok: Much like our lovable security guard, this team started the season away from the gate with three straight losses. But after two straight wins, could their hero arc be starting?

Had to forfeit, which happens to the best of us but pulls this team down in the standings. Maybe not the best timing, with undefeated White up next.

This team reminds me of…Valentin. He was a big part of the girl trio plot for most of the season, and then more or less ghosted us in the finale.

Some inspired defensive play from Texas Orange led to a 7-7 tie at the half, but ultimately it was turnovers and losing track of some receivers on deep routes that led to a two-score loss. At one point in the second half Texas could have tied it, but a key interception at the goal line swung the momentum.

This team reminds me of…Jaclyn: The fateful interception caused a certain unnamed player to kick an equipment bag on the sideline and then it immediately started pouring rain. Kinda like when Jaclyn got doused with a squirt gun at the Songkran Water Festival and made it everyone else’s problem.

Sand seems to have found some more stable footing this week, mercy ruling Pink on the strength of a very solid outing from AJ.

This team reminds me of…Lochlan Ratliff: Quiet, not making too much noise, and then does something that makes everyone say “where did that come from??” Just stay away from the blender, boys.

This team has so much talent and has played very close in most of their games this season, so I can’t rank them in the cellar just yet. By all accounts the big plays have just been offset by costly mistakes. This is still a team that I wouldn’t count out.

This team reminds me of…Timothy Ratliff. Too many unforced errors and sleepwalking through portions of games resemble some of the more subdued episodes from the Ratliff patriarch.

Tough week for Pink, who has hung in there but has some work to do to rebound from a four-game losing streak. At least we know this team will have strong attendance at Shakers. Shoutout to rookie Patrick for being one of this team’s leading scorers so far.

This team reminds me of…Piper Ratliff. Started out with some promise in Week 1, but by the end we realize Piper is just as damaged as the rest of them.

On-field accounts report that Brian Hotchkiss said he “forgot how to play football for two drives” which, when coming from your QB, doesn’t bode well for success. This team has kept it close in all of its games but it has yet to lead to a victory.

This team reminds me of…Pornchai: He’s likable and gets so close to fulfilling his dream, only to have his hopes dashed by Belinda. Here’s hoping this team can open their own mud spa someday.

I’m holding out hope for Cardinal to surprise someone this season. When asked who won between Cardinal and Seafoam, sources say captain Evan Binder replied “take a wild guess” which is not a great place to be at this point. Hopefully adding veteran Brandon Waggoner to the roster may help them turn the corner. Also want to call out some very solid rookie play from this team, which could be the difference in securing an upset first round playoff win.

This team reminds me of…Rick Hatchett: A pretty tough watch all season and then died after picking a fight he couldn’t win. I’ll leave it there.