Power Rankings

Here’s your DCGFFLpalooza poster:

This Light Blue team has it all! A solid roster from top to bottom. The resume to show for it. A TikTok hit that supports their billing as our headliner. They handled Royal Blue with ease, allowing just one score all afternoon. They’re at the top of this poster, but do they have the stamina to keep it up through the fall?

What’s the opposite of “always the bridesmaid, never the bride?” This team. For the second week in a row, they’ve pulled out a win by a single point, having the ball bumped into their defender’s hands by Navy. We’ll see if they can become an album team next week, but in the meantime, their singles are enough to catapult them up this lineup.

In his absence, a pregame JC A. speech apparently lit the wrong fire under this team. They were easily handled by Light Blue and managed to receive a flag for complaining too much. Their prior performances have them in a solid billing, but they’re at a real risk to go from mainstays to one-hit-wonders. They’re probably not gonna be happy about this either.

With music festivals, it always comes down to networking and who you know. Why do I have forest green ranked above the other 2-1 teams? I’m their management, and I did a bang-up job in those negotiations. I hear you, I hear you! “They didn’t score last week!” “They’re ranked above the team that beat them!” Like other teams here, the lineup was slim due to folks traveling for other sports (or in my case, out due to inexplicably spraining his foot at Epcot without even drinking around the world!) But, this team has shown that they have a catalogue of hits so far this season, and the promoters took that into account despite their last single not being a smash hit.

Nick W. stepped up at QB and the result was another win. The ball was spread on offense and four different players recorded a touchdown. Nick’s play is something to watch. He’s part of this group on the lineup this year, but will his management encourage him to go solo (QB full-time) next season? Only time will tell, but for now, this team is going up, up, up…

Kelly followed the playbook needed to beat Black to a tee: outlast them long enough and the injuries will handle them for you. That said, despite trailing for most of the afternoon, their comeback was impressive, and they shot up the rankings due to their single-point victory via a last-minute touchdown by Luke B.

If I had to pick a band to compare this team to it would be Maroon 5. They’re not bad, they have the hits, and most music festivals would love to have them at the right price. On the flipside, I have not once heard someone say that Maroon 5 is their favorite band. But you cannot deny the talent!

Purple had just 7 players and were missing both their captain and starting QB, but that didn’t stop them from running circles around Sapphire. Putting up 42 points and allowing zero is impressive. The lack of letting up is admirable. Sapphire didn’t even cross the 40 yard line for most of the game. We’re excited to see how they fare with a more robust roster, but they have managed to hold a respectable billing thus far and round out the upper half of our rankings.

And so begins the end of our undercard. Coral nearly moved up to the next line on our poster with a 31-13 victory over Seafoam, and will be a team to watch moving forward. They are putting together a solid resume, and the booking agents took that into account. Hopefully they’re working on that next big album with a killer single to launch them into headlining contention.

Orange sports a losing record after three weeks, but is still in a respectable place. There’s still a lot of season left, and with Ben H. at QB, things could turn around in a hurry. In the meantime, we will see you on stage at this festival at 4 p.m. when the sun is blaring directly into your eyes much like it does for a lot of receivers every Sunday..

So what happens when you blow an 18-point lead? You stay after the game for your an extra rehearsal (practice) that you swear you were going to do regardless of the outcome. They swear this was always the plan, but I’m just the messenger. It’s not any consolation, but the loss did come against Pink, who is near the top of the poster.

Cardinal brought the offense, putting up 54 points—the highest of any team this week! This team left the defense at home, however, giving up 40 points. I guess it doesn’t matter if you end up scoring more, but this would stress me out. Their billing on the poster is respectable, and they would certainly have some diehards who would excuse a less than perfect performance.

Everyone is hurt and their set is sponsored by Icy Hot and Advil. Six injured players on this roster? Leading the majority of the game but falling behind due to twisted ankles and a depleted receiver corps? The good news is it’s early in the season. The bad news is it’s early in the season. Time for this team to take a break from banging themselves up – take the stage and bang a drum instead.

They managed to chart a little bit last week, but the follow-up left a bit to be desired. The offense again has some questions, but I see the vision. We’re rooting for them to deliver a memorable performance and bounce back up the charts, but right now it’s giving your college buddy sharing his SoundCloud page hoping someone, ANYONE will listen.

Every well-to-do music festival needs those legacy acts that are put on stage early in the day to get folks in the gates at a reasonable hour, and that’s what Iron Gray is. They have a lot of pieces that have impressed in the past, and as they play together more are having some positives to build on. Someone (not me) did the math, and this team has the highest average age of any team this season at 38, just below the 40 points they managed to score versus Cardinal last weekend.

I’m going to give it to you straight: Sapphire is only performing at this music festival because they’re a nepo baby. Last week’s 42-0 walloping has them rounding out our poster. Hopefully they sing better than they play football!