Power Rankings

Jaime was polishing her football like she was trying to summon a genie in a bottle.🧞‍♂️ But someone must’ve rubbed that bottle the wrong way, because the second half against Blue and their second game of the day against Green came with ZERO wishes granted. 🚫 In their game against Green, the absences were loud, the drops were louder, and the hate from the sidelines? Deafening. But shake it off, Black. As the power rankings’ receipts show, playoffs don’t care about a bad game. Or two. Or three. Or four.

Blue’s reign has been unshakable—until now. A rare stumble for the league’s longtime scoreboard leaders. The first half was slow, but in the second half the momentum was building fast, and for a minute, it seemed like they might just run away with it. 🏃🏽‍♂️💨 But just as things were getting scary for Black, Carter Barron claimed another one, and the game was called early. It’s their first loss, but don’t get too comfortable. If they can bottle that second-half magic and stay healthy, they’ll still be a force to be reckoned with.

Was it close? Yes. Was it enough? Also yes. Green took full advantage of a tired Black squad, chirping like they were up by 30 (and not just one)—but hey, a win is a win. The offense didn’t light up the scoreboard, but then again, it really didn’t need to. When the other team’s receivers are doing most of the work for you, sometimes you just have to stand there and look good.

But yeah, props to the Granny Gayng 👵🏼 (ahem, I mean Green Gayng), who only had 8 players—two of whom had just run 10 miles for “fun”—and a whole team out of position. Maybe there is something to be said about age over beauty.

Tall, taller, tallest… and Amanda. Chaos is the brand, and business is booming. Because Foam House is nothing if not visually chaotic…but it works. Shayne’s Chaotic Evil play-calling remains unmatched (shouting “go deep!” mid-pitch to a blocker? Certainly a choice). And Magneto is fully back into her villain era after being cleared by her PT.

Word of the week? Resilient. Word of the game? Ouch. Carter Barron was taking names this Sunday, and once again it was Pam collecting another souvenir shiner, this time from friendly fire. But even when they’re crashing into each other, Seafoam finds a way. After all, it’s hard to defend a team that’s just as confused as you are. 🤔😵‍💫

Watch out folks, it’s getting juicy! 🍑 Peach had a great day on Sunday with the addition of their newest receiver Forrest Gump, I mean Meg B., who was trying to take a touchdown into the woods of Rock Creek. This enthusiasm was what Peach has needed all season though, and they took down the Ro-Hoes, a little too easily if you ask us. Rookie Sienna came out strong with an interception and TD, Metz started using her blockers to get small gains when they really mattered, and Meg continued to run through traffic, find space, and magically get open.

Don’t sleep on the peaches, as they have some great momentum heading into the end of the season. We can’t wait to see if the Peaches can beat any other teams that aren’t Red.

This team fought hard against Peach, but let’s be honest—the clock wasn’t on their side. Starting the day fashionably late (9:05 AM, after the coin toss? Classic), they seemed to learn that early mornings and high stakes don’t mix. Still, the Ro-Hoes showed flashes of brilliance—Lisa’s valiant effort at QB kept the Ro-Hoes in the game, rookie Parker snagged his first TD, and Catherine commanded the defense to keep the score as low as possible. The wideouts looked sharp, running crisp routes and pulling in some deep catches. All in all, a true team effort. Fortunately, this team has a QB who famously believes that “what happens on the fields only matters in the playoffs,” so here’s hoping that mindset works out for them. But maybe, just maybe, a few more wins and little better attendance before the postseason wouldn’t hurt. 🤷🏽‍♀️

The Yeeters looked their strongest this week. Offense and defense were in sync, rookies shone bright, and Ashley took her rage on Shayne’s flags and Jillian’s face, giving Amanda a run for her rushing title with four sacks in a game. Lefler looked extraordinarily strong in the pocket, throwing two TDs, no INTs, and fought off the Foamies formidable rush (even though that was the most questionable call by the head ref)…rumor has it she’s training and microdosing with Aaron Rodgers on the weekends. Let’s hope this team keeps growing together and shows everyone up in the playoffs, as this is arguably our most kind and fun team in the league!