Power Rankings

Undefeated. Unbothered. Unstoppable? Some say systemic racism was the only thing keeping this squad out of the top spot (though with only white QBs isn’t it just white on white crime?). Supplemental pick Tia wasted no time proving she’s a problem—two picks and a TD in her first game. This team isn’t just here to play; they’re here to dominate, so watch your backs. But the real question remains: who let T draft this well AND pick up a 3rd travel league rusher? Because someone should be held accountable.

Once again, Ebay proved that gravity is for other people and Sam made the Carter Baron fields her personal wrestling mat. Even with Blue in a giving mood—handing over three interceptions—Red let every opportunity slip through their fingers, allowing Blue to maintain their lead. While Red tried to play the clock, Blue played the scoreboard—and we all know which one actually matters.

A doubleheader? No problem. Jayme + Nour might be the duo this league didn’t know it needed… Actually, Jayme is the teammate Nour didn’t know she needed, handing her TDs to her fearless captain. “Lynchback” was on the move, and Amy begrudgingly embraced her blocking era after casually scoring 24 points in her first game back —because while legends may age, they don’t necessarily decay.

The biggest advantage that this team had going into Sunday is that for the first time, the opposing QB is actually the same average height of the Red team. They took the L, but let’s not pretend they didn’t put up a fight. Peyton picked the ball and turned on the jets for a near TD (and any other QB and it would have been one, but you can’t outrun Lizzie). Catherine was on fire, and Judy? An absolute brick wall—which, let’s be real, she now knows is way better than running into one (looking at you, Lindsey).

Jillian, aka Magneto, was catching passes like she had a literal magnetic field in her hands. Someone check that ball for metal. Shayne was slinging, and Baby Bubs was foaming at the mouth (figuratively, we hope) cheering from the sidelines. We can tell those late night recruiting sessions at Carter Barron are wearing off. The Foamys might be middle of the pack, but don’t let them slip under your radar.

Big Bubs did what Big Bubs does, but unfortunately, the sack wasn’t enough to save “the Peaches” from getting sliced. But you still love ‘em — They’re fun, they’re feisty, and they’re keeping things spicy at the bottom — just like we love it.

A battle of the Lauren Pruitts? We live for a name-based rivalry. Black’s New LP made her presence known while Purple’s OG LP held her own — but it was Dana with two interceptions and supplemental pick Court absolutely devouring on the field that kept Purple in the conversation. And even though Purple yeeted themselves to the bottom, they hopefully won’t be there for long.