Women's+ Season 7 Power Rankings: Week 5

By Pass Rush Barbie 💄 and Pass Rush Papi 🦖 • Spring cleaning came early this year—and not just in closets. Travel rosters dropped, and with them came the usual mix of tough calls, raised eyebrows, and mixed feelings. With all of that still settling in, the league hitting pause for Easter weekend might be well-timed. No games, no noise, just a built-in moment to regroup and come back a little sharper with a clearer sense of what’s working and, well…what’s not. And as we hit the midpoint of the season, it’s becoming increasingly clear that some teams might need a little handholding in figuring that out. 👀 Luckily for you, we’re happy to help. So with that, here’s what’s in and what’s out as we head into Week 6. Por ejemplo: IN: Community building (crowd sourcing photographers, Thursday Night Reps). OUT: That second move after Sunday Funday (we should all know by now it’s never a good idea).

1 Purple Reign (Purple Heather) 5-0

In: Winning (and not just by a little), outdrafting everyone (and having depth everywhere), and, of course, Bub’s “big ’ole natural titties”.

Out: Doing defense for your opponents (Nour and Lisa Z…if both of you are wide open then one of you should probably make a play for the ball).

2 Smoke Shows (Smoke Grey) 3-2

In: Defense winning games and multiple shutouts (including one last week that moved them into the #2 spot…and knocked Vegas Gold out of it.).

Out: Defense being the only reason you’re winning games, and unnecessary post-game comments that hit harder than your defense ever could.

3 Gold Stars (Vegas Gold) 3-2

In: Glove glue (on account of so many dropped passes last week) and having the ultimate “figure it out on the fly” roster (with players stepping into roles they absolutely did not sign up for, yet somehow still keeping things competitive).

Out: Getting shutout instead of delivering them, letting one loss turn into a losing streak, and unfortunately, fingers (sorry, Metz 🙏🏽).

4 Red Flags (Scarlet Heather) 3-2

In: QB Kat’s “Spread the Wealth” strategy on offense (with over 50% of the team catching at least one TD this season) and strong defensive pressure (with Ty living in the opponents’ backfields and having a league-high of 5 sacks to show for it).

Out: Playing the lottery (why test your luck with the deep balls when the short game is your bread and butter).

5 Super Soakers (Tropic Blue) 2-3

In: Running up the score (and then actually winning) and the sideline energy from Amanda D. (who was somehow the loudest voice on the Red Flags sideline while mid-game on a completely different field).

Out: Unsportsmanlike conduct, no gain pitch plays, and continuously (and loudly) heckling the refs for sack calls.

6 Green Line Fire (Turf Green) 2-3

In: Staying opportunistic to capitalize on other teams mistakes and standout player performances (especially from notable two-way impact players like Shayne and Des).

Out: Keeping games within reach only to still lose by a score or a point, and being the only team without a clear or memorable playing identity.

7 Orange is the New Sack (Texas Orange) 1-4

In: Having one of the league’s top scorers (looking at you Meg B.) who is one of only 4 players this season to have 4 TDs, and having a roster with the highest average age in the league (…guess Trump isn’t the only thing in DC that’s old and orange).

Out: Having one of the league’s top scorers yet still sitting at the bottom of the rankings, POCKETS… 👀, and bridging the league “age” gap…one full-contact collision at a time.

8 Grim ReapHers (Black) 1-4

In: Finally getting one in the win column, keeping games close (and then winning them), and “lucky charms” 🍀🤑.

Out: Only having one in the win column, being shutout, and turning to mom and dad to bail you out.