Power Rankings

Welcome back to the top, Sinners. Feels good to be back home, doesn’t it? Another Sunday another day for rookie QB Court to pull off another impressive win this week. The sinners shuffled a few roles, tried some new looks, and even in the chilly fall morning weather this team was still too hot to handle. Also too hot to handle: Jayme’s hips – at least according to our eyes, after watching several Blue defenders get a little too handsy while going for her flags, and ultimately ending up with a flag of their own.

Cassie Z. delivered a standout performance on offense, OG Bre reminded everyone she’s a threat anywhere you put her, and Maddy? A game with her perched at the rush puck is one your QB and blockers won’t forget.

Next up: Another familiar feeling as the Sinners once again faceoff against a newly victorious Seafoam.

Well, well… the Grassholes certainly lived up to their name this week. The lean, mean Green Machine came in short-handed and high-strung, with players pulling double duty on both sides of the ball. This game had it all: four sacks, three QBs, two QB touchdowns, one game-winning interception, and a -5 yard punt. What more can you ask for on a windy Sunday?

Meg L. remains the league’s most versatile QB, snagging a receiving touchdown on a pass that was totally, definitely, and for sure meant for her. Ironically, she might’ve been the only Grasshole without a case of the drops. And judging by that grin, she seemed to enjoy life on the other side of the ball—maybe the grass is really greener over there after all.

While the Grassholes may have come up short in numbers and score, there was no shortage of… let’s call it “spirit.” The rule that “only captains talk to refs” works best when the captain isn’t the one yelling at the ref. It got heated (though mostly on their side) as Silver seemed to be having a lovely time and were relatively good sports, even though they seemed to have poked the bear.

Still, this was Green’s first loss of the season, and if we know anything about the Grassholes, it’s that they don’t take losing lightly. Consider this your warning Corn Stars.

Light Blue walked so Silver could run — and run they did, straight into the record books as the only team to shut down Forest Green this season. In their game against the Grassholes, the Chromies’ reminded everyone that their shiny roster wasn’t just for show when they arrived looking calm, confident, and completely in sync. Em polished off her throwing arm and stepped into the QB role and took home her first W in the backfield. Sharp arm, steady reads, and hips far too slick for Green’s defense (thanks Meg B.).

If this game showed us anything, it’s that Silver’s week one defensive dominance wasn’t luck, it was a preview—one Green got to fully experience. Sophie took home another game winning INT and rookie Lauryn managed 4 sacks. Though there could have been a few ‘illegal’ down field plays, this team shows that they will edge out a win by any means necessary.

Next up: The “Chromies” take on Icy Hot — a match up we’re personally quite excited to see.

8:59 a.m. rolled around, and no one was entirely sure this game was even going to happen. But Lefler stayed calm and collected, stepping in as captain and QB. Thankfully for the Children of the Corn, the ever-gracious Seafoamies were kind enough to play 6v6 until Corn’s full roster arrived.

The game started rough, though — two pick-sixes before Amanda exclaimed from the sidelines, “Do we not have wrist coaches?!” Luckily, Seafoam’s kindness continued when they loaned Lefler one of her QB’s infamous wrist coaches. The result? Two immediate TD drives. Miraculous what a little organization (and sportsmanship) can do.

Maya, so tall, towered over her opponents snagging passes from Lefler — and even one from opposing QB Kat. Mal, after showing up fashionably late, shiner and all, had every dump pass down the field, drive after drive. Iris somehow Odelled a ball over her defender. Q, as usual, flew through the sky catching so many passes and defending like a rock star. Even Baby Bubs came out from the sidelines to punt in Reeboks and glasses. Although Corn eventually found their footing, Seafoam stormed the Corn Palace and brought the Kingdom tumbling down.

Next up: The Corn Stars face off against a pissed off Forest Green, so grab a seat, because this one is bound to be good.

The first-half scorecard didn’t have much to report for Blue. A few unfortunate drops (we’re blaming the wind) and some post–Gay Bowl cobwebs made for an unexciting start. Whatever Metz said at halftime worked, though, because they came out looking like a completely different team. Ash V.’s passes were crisp and her blockers were plenty. Dinora’s rush (and near interception) was enough to put the fear of God in the Sinners; and rookie Angie was out there leaping for balls and dodging flag pulls with the grace (and luck) of someone the ref didn’t quite catch in time.

Unfortunately, being down three touchdowns at the half proved too much to recover from, but don’t count this team out just yet. With eager receivers ready to pad the stat sheet once the wind settles and the jet lag fades, Icy Hot might just be the sleeper upset of the season.

Next up: they take on a familiar foe in their matchup against the Chromies.

The Foamies’ kindness and patience finally paid off: our crystal ball was right, and QB Kat finally found the end zone in their game against Corn. And Seafoam came away with more than just points on the board, they won.

They went in down a few stars, with captain Dana and all-star Aubrie sidelined for the season, but you wouldn’t have known it. Things started off typical enough—Kat nearly throwing a pick (thanks to a nice block by Mal), but then, somehow, the ball landed back into Kat’s hands and she ran for about a 5 yd gain. Sure, she threw one right after, but the Foamies kept their spirits high and their energy higher.

Then the near impossible happened. Down by 1 point after Lauran G took two INTs to the house in the first half. Pretty much everyone scored. Kat was like Oprah. You get a point, You get a point, Ash, Lauran, Cali, KP, you get a point! Maybe it was all the ice tea she’s drinking on the sidelines or maybe it was the lack of alcohol during the game, we’ll never know. Whatever it was, this team is hopeful to continue their streak against the red hot sinners next week, especially if Anisa can pull another record 5 sacks…

Next up: the Foamies take on the red-hot Sinners. Let’s see if they can keep up the momentum for an exciting repeat next week.