S21 Week 3 Power Rankings

1 Blew Ball Busters (Carolina Blue) 3-0

Caroline Blue went 3-0 this week as they defeated Black and a despondent Danny H sat on the sidelines in a boot. Are the straight dads really about to run this league? We’ll circle back after our bye for THEE game of the week: Carolina vs. Cardinal.

Until then, here’s a live look at that Blue weather report:

2 The Cream Team (White) 3-0

This unlikely pairing of QB Bryan S. and Captain Vincent is really working. The White Team soundly defeated Fire in the Hole (Red) this week to go 3-0…? Reader, I am shocked. Is Vincent finally leading a team capable of going all the way?

3 Jam it In (Purple) 3-0

This purple team is full of newbies, and the combination is working. With all of their speedy running backs, someone is going to have to shut down their short game. Petition to re-name the team starts now:

4 Care Bears (Cardinal Red) 2-1

Last week’s #1 team was felled by a team wearing Neon Orange of all things. A couple of tough calls kept this game low scoring and showed that despite a star roster, anything can happen. Extra points really do matter.

5 Shipfaced (Navy) 2-1

With their fearless leader back this week, Shipfaced didn’t even break a sweat for this lopsided win. Don’t sleep on Keith H–he may be adorable, but he’s got a monster arm.

6 Blackbeard and the Booty Pirates (Black) 2-1

Man, the deCLINE was swift with this one. Blew Ball Busters (Carolina Blue) are tough, even Matt C’s deadly accurate throws couldn’t cut it this week. Maybe if Tom L. learns how to catch, they’ll start making strides again.

7 Into the Thicc of It (Forest Green) 2-1

Shady Pines showed signs of life this week! A truly exciting possession by possession, interception after interception, nail-biting game. Rookie QB JC Adams worked both sides of the ball, while Bradley found his way in for 2 sacks…or was it 3?

8 Iron Curtain (Iron Gray) 1-2

The Iron Ladies really battled it out this week. Newbie Amanda D. is lighting up the field (and the social scene)! While they lost this game, they kept things interesting with some impressive plays and gusto. Andy seems to have worked out some kinks in his QB game during the off season. Margaret Thatcher would be proud.

9 Celine Neon (Neon Orange) 1-2

Fueled by the spirit of Celine and the physicality of Brian S., this team took down last week’s top-ranked team. QB Pat repeatedly found his receivers open in the middle. I know they walked off the field feelin’ themselves.

10 Toxic sLIME (Lime Green) 1-2

It seems AJ and Twon were able to put their bickering aside, and Toxic sLIME turned into something palatable this week as they came away with their first win. Just as well, their captain was running late for a performance anyway.


11 Cadet Kellys (Kelly Green) 1-2

Their QB #4, Mike H, stepped up and took the field, but this game turned into a battle of the defenses with Kelly coming out with their first win over Silver. Now, if we can just get them a healthy and regular QB, things might turnaround:

12 Silversatile (Silver) 1-2

Kelly Green was in those DMs while this team took a Tylenol PM.

13 The Golden Gurls (Gold) 1-2

This team struggled to field a full 7 this week. I know Captain Bryan was thankful to see Chuck R. step up and make some clutch plays. At this rate, they should think about fielding Betty White.

14 Fire in the Hole (Red) 1-2

As soon as White stepped onto the field, Red was in trouble. Maybe Brandon is too focused on getting ready for Gay Bowl to give his team the attention they need right now. Let’s see how they regroup after he gets back from Arizona.

15 Blue-m for You (Royal) 0-3

We’re all waiting for this team to blue-m. Nadja, Joe, and Alex S. sure were fun to watch this week though. They fought a hard battle, but in the end came up shy in the back-and-forth against Into the Thicc of It (Forest Green).

16 Blue-a Lipa (Atomic Blue) 0-3

It’s hard to find the words…and even harder to watch.