Season 23 Power Rankings: Bye Week Special

1 Oh My Goth (Black) 3-0

Oh My Goth will face the Foamosexuals on Sunday. Key questions to consider include whether JC will be able to walk after a weekend of basketball (and a silver medal!) and the degree of wildness we can expect to see in Andrew’s hair.

2 Foamosexuals (Seafoam Green) 3-0

The Foamosexuals are clearly used to scoring but there are some unanswered questions about the notorious Foamosexuals that will be decided on Sunday. Chris M. really knows how to re-enter the league. With the commish and a deep bench on their side, what could go wrong? Should be an awesome game. Too bad it’s at 9 o’clock in the morning.

3 I Run Gay (Iron Grey) 2-0

I Run Gay runs into the Red Light District (1-2) on Sunday. Can Andy and the crew keep the momentum going? With the REAL Pratt back in action, we don’t see why not?! Just to be clear, we’re talking about Linda, not Andy.

4 Cocked & Loaded Limebackers (Lime) 2-0

Cocked & Loaded will experience the Blue World Order (1-1) on Sunday. Top of mind is whether Britt will be wearing those awesome sunglasses defenses often only see from the back and whether Bobby will have his outfit together in time for the game. It’s a serious question.

5 Gold Dogs, New Tricks (Gold) 1-1

Gold Dogs, New Tricks bumps up against the Purple Pee Hole Eaters (1-1). Lingering questions remain such as whether the weather will be warm enough for Chris to wear “the shorts” and whether Adam will scare any of the new players while demonstrating the proper techniques needed to demolish a rusher.

6 Not Another White Refrigerator (White) 2-0

Not Another White Refrigerator bumps up against Ready for this Kelly (0-3). Ben and crew are off to a fabulous start and Dan’s bandana is ready to go.

7 Shady Birches (Forest Green) 1-1

The Shady Birches will test the Cerulean Gworls (1-1) on Sunday. The question on everyone’s mind is whether de-Amanda can will this team into a team of destiny? Cam certainly has the weapons, but the Gworls are going to be tough.

8 Blue World Order (Columbia Blue) 1-1

Blue World Order takes on Cocked & Loaded Limebackers (2-0) this Sunday. Ben is really coming into himself as a QB this season. I mean, have you seen those football-slinging, flag-pulling, money-making biceps??? It’s just unfortunate that this Blue World doesn’t include any women+ in it…

9 Coral Fixation (Coral) 1-1

We might have to rename Big Mouth Billy Bass with the way Clem sings and flops all over the field. Hopefully having some of their zen players back on the field with them this Sunday will bode better for Rick Royal’d (0-2) and keep Clem in check.

10 Cerulean Gworls (Navy) 1-1

These Gworls are looking for two big Ws (and a rise in their rankings) in their double header against the Shady Birches (1-1) and Yellow Brick Loads (1-1) this Sunday. Will Hotchkiss’ new offense keep marching down the fields? Can this stellar defense hold the opponents at bay? One thing’s for sure, somebody will come out of this weekend with a winning record!

11 The Red Light District (Red) 1-2

Good thing this team has the late game against I Run Gay (2-0) on Sunday, because they’ll surely need their rest after visiting the Red Light District in Hawaii this past week. Will Brandon be fully recovered by the end of the season?? Let’s hope so, because this team really needs a win.

12 The Sandra Bullocks (Sand) 1-2

The Sandra Bullocks will be bumping uglies with the Yellow Brick Loads (1-1) this week. The question here is: Will Ms. Bullock will be proud or embarrassed by their performance? I hear Vincent’s been doing parachute runs again in preparation! We’ve all missed those cakes…

13 Yellow Brick Loads (Yellow) 1-1

Beach season may be over, but the Loads will face two ocean-themed teams this weekend. Can they weather (get it?) a double header in only their second week of action? Will this AARP-eligible captain-quarterback duo remember their players’ names a month after they first played?

14 Purple Pee Hole Eaters (Purple) 1-1

A tough double header faces this team hungry for action after a long layoff. A game against last year’s champion QB and the current #1 team will test a team that hasn’t won a game contested on the field. Luckily QB Andrew is used to double the action and can tap into those twin daddy energy reserves to face the challenge.

15 Ready for this Kelly (Kelly Green) 0-3

Every season, there’s a team plagued with injuries. Paul, this happens to be your team in Season 23. We’re all sorry for your loss(es).

16 Yam It In (Burnt Orange) 0-3

The Yammies face the Rock Hards in the highly anticipated epic battle of the Joes…etc

17 Rock Hard (Graphite) 0-2

Rock Hard goes up against Coral Fixation and the Yams. We don’t know who will win or who will even show up but our money is on Kat for the win, whatever the game.

18 Rick Royal'd (Royal) 0-2

We can all say we’re rooting for this team full of fun people, especially for JC to break what has to be approaching a record losing streak. Maybe Sean Karson’s return from a strong showing in the Gay Bowl will provide the inspiration they need to end this streak and kickstart their season.

Well, buckle up buttercups, the rest of Season 23 should prove to be “interesting” to say the least.