Season 24 Power Rankings: Week 3

1 Pink-182 (Neon Pink) 4-0

These are the meanest nice people on the field, after a crushing two win doubleheader this group certainly showed that nice is different than good as they continued to run trick plays and rush three on a team without a QB their first game, and cheer at the mental collapse of the QB of their second game. Meanwhile, catch me HI offering Advil to literally everyone on both sides of the field that so much as says the word “ouch” as I sport yet ANOTHER cast. Y’all can break my bones but can’t break my spirit.

2 Daddy, Chill (White) 4-0

We are all reminded weekly of JC’s incredible athleticism. From turning scrambles into touchdowns and throwing dimes. He’s an incredibly versatile player with a lot of talented players to back him up. And he’s gonna get a big head about it no doubt.

3 Dom Trops (Tropic Blue) 3-0

Maroon was able to answer each Tropic Blue touchdown with one of their own early in the game, leading us all to question if the Dom Trops are a little more sub than they let on. However, the momentum really started to swing in their favor when Jeremy was able to intercept a maroon ball. Mark, as always, had some deep and effortless endzone catches, and the rush game was on point as well, as Tony was able to consistently sashay into the pocket

4 Boat Stuff (Navy) 2-1

Navy is a lesson to never judge a book by its cover because you would think the odds were stacked against them. They nearly did not have enough players to start the game. In spite of it all, what this team lacks in numbers they make up in talent.

5 Diva Cups (Maroon) 2-1

Maroon played a solid first half and was able to hold an undefeated Tropic Blue team to a tie… until the second half. Some small mistakes and penalties dictated a less than desirable outcome for our lovely Diva Cups, though they just might be able to get their bloody revenge in the playoffs.

6 Blue-ty Callers (Carolina Blue) 2-1

It looks like asking all your friends to vote for your team in the Game of the Week Instagram poll played in this team’s favor. Rigga Morris aside this team put on quite the circus act with a juggling pick-6 performance by Matt H. and a stunning display of acrobatics by Wyatt E.

7 Tight-anium (Silver) 2-1

How many picks can one QB throw in a half? Well Marvin W. is sure to find out.

8 Atomic Blue Villains (Atomic Blue) 2-2

Team Villain broke even this week with one win and one loss. Their first game showed they’re willing to play dirty to win and will wave away numerous flag throws with a hearty maniacal laugh. Though they might want to pack an extra vape pen for AJ to make sure their dastardly plans work the second game.

9 Deep in the Bush (Forest Green) 1-1-1

An on field collision left one of Forest Green’s players severely hurt. First and foremost, we are a community and we’re here to support each other on and off the field. Let us keep Alex S. in our thoughts and wish him well as he recovers.

10 Papa Cherries (Red) 1-1-1

What is the penalty for a pass interference? Well if you ask Sean K, it’s your team’s lead.

11 Fanta-sies 🍑 (Neon Orange) 1-2

In all my time in the league I have never seen a team tear into their own QB as much as this team has. But this tough love paid off big! Congratulations to QB Ben M’s first win against Brandon W.

12 Mean Green Kelly Machine (Kelly Green) 1-2

It’s a shame that for most of the game, QB Jim did not see a wide open Luis to his right. Luis had all the time in the world to file his taxes and recreate Rihanna’s entire superbowl half-time performance. It’s even more of a shame when Luis finally gets the ball thrown his way, it fumbles out of his hands and into Matt H’s for the shortest-distance pick-6 I have ever seen.

13 Daffodilfs (Gold) 1-2

Shoutout to Judy for finally finding her stride as a receiver to watch out for. It only took 4 seasons, but she’s throwing her whole bussy into it.

14 Mellow Yellow (Neon Yellow) 1-2

Nearly all of Neon Yellow’s touchdowns this game were defensive. Their MVP, the QB on the other team Marvin W. Despite all the help from Silver, Neon Yellow still BARELY won their game.

15 These Grays, They're Trying to Murder Me (Concrete Grey) 1-2

This team had it rough. Despite some impressive throws and deep catches, this team couldn’t pull out a W in either of their back-to-back games. At least they’re good at yodeling.

16 Royal Tenenbottoms (Royal Blue) 0-3

It is only 3 weeks into the season and this team is missing nearly all of their starting players. Brandon better shake the rust off those joints and learn how to scramble; he doesn’t have anyone blocking for him. Here’s to hoping they get a better start in the playoffs.

17 Pit Crew (Olive) 0-3

Someone get this team some defense, stat! It was 4th and 80, a good number of flags thrown your team’s way, and yet your d-line had more exposed holes than a Thursday at Green Lantern.

18 Plumshots (Purple) 0-3

Purple showed a lot of heart this week with their QB on vacation. They probably deserve one too after the beating they got from Pink. Hopefully Pat’s vacation brings him back rested and ready to turn their fortunes around. Purple IS the color of royalty after all.