Open Division Season 26 Power Rankings: Week 3

1 Neon My Face (Neon Orange) 4 - 0

More like “Neon My Haters!” I must say, to play both double header weekends back-to-back and still come out with an undefeated record, is quite a feat! Not to mention it seems that Sean Holihan has had quite the breakout performance this season…are we seeing the beginnings of a new Nene Leakes in this league?!

2 Royal Tightness 💙 (Royal Blue) 3 - 0

Well…the good news is this team played an excellent game against Seafoam with Jeremy and Oliver battling to become JC’s Next Top Receiver. But as for the bad news…If I had my Sunday Funday delayed only to be told that Forest forfeited when I could have been 5 mimosas in by now, yeah that may have also put me in a RHONJ’s Teresa Giudice mood as well!

3 Field of Creams (White) 2 - 0

You know what I love about this team…they’re never in the drama. They come in, handle their business and go on with their days. Which is exactly what they did on Sunday, completely annihilating Atomic. We shall see how long this last, but as for right now, this team is in their RHOA’s Kandi Burress “Fly Above It” era

4 Grey 4 Pay (Dark Grey) 2 - 0

Similar to White, they are a get business done team! I mean you got Dwaylen with 2 sacks, Aaron with a sack, even Travis scoring an extra point against a pretty well stacked Cardinal (minus Lamar…but we’ll get there in sec 😉). But if I know my sister Aaron well, there’s always something cooking behind those eyes, very much so like RHOBH’s infamous LVP!!!

5 3-6-9, Damn Good Lime (Lime Shock) 2 - 1

There’s an old trick that Housewives love to do when ratings go down on a show…Bring back an old head & looks like Lime has been studying this show! Down after the first half, QB Ben Hunt took control of the reigns and with the help of Nick and Tom, brought the team back into the spotlight! Listen, only a few of y’all Heteros can pull off the Bethanny Frankel of RHONY and do it flawlessly! Kudos to you Ben!

6 Grape Sexpectations 🍇 (Purple) 2 - 1

If there is one thing, my mom always taught me is, “Always let your actions speak louder than your words!”. Purple definitely lives up to this mantra, you won’t hear much about them, but their playtime lets you know how good of a team they are. Getting out to a 20-7 lead at halftime, only to stay on the gas and end the game 33-15. In a similar fashion, quiet housewives often are the ones that people don’t realize can shake a table and Meghan King on RHOC was definitely one of those girls!

7 The Hot Ones (Cardinal) 2 - 1

**Sigh** Injuries are never fun, and this team is experiencing this first hand. With captain Lamar potentially out for the season, looks like hubby Chris and the team is stepping up to pick up the slack, with an impressive 3 sacks to take the win in the “Reigning Sack Queen” competition. But with all this on his shoulders, will the weight of it all begin to take a toll as it did with RHOBH’s Erika Jayne?!

8 You Got Moss'd (Forest Green) 2 - 1

Well let’s start with the good… a pretty decisive win over Vegas Gold with Fernando earning MVP honors! It’s a shame that this win was followed by a forfeit against Royal Blue. It is clear to me that this team is currently is their RHOA - Season 6 Porsha Williams era…But if this is true to form, they’re gonna come back in true middle peach form!

9 My Little Foamies (Seafoam) 1 - 1

9th place…middle of the pack…its giving forgettable! That’s how the season is starting out for you Seafoam (I literally almost forgot to write something about yall). I do know you ended last sunday with a loss to Royal, but there wasn’t even really any standout plays from the game!

When y’all play Forest in two weeks, I need y’all to come out of your shell and perform. Make us FOAM at the mouth…otherwise you’re gonna be like those DC Housewives, not talked about!

…and since I couldn’t even find a GIF of them, you guys get lil Gia expressing my thoughts!


10 Blacked-Out Barbies (Black) 1 - 1

Let this week, be a valuable lesson for all teams out there! NEVER get too comfortable! Looking at this scorecard, it is clear that this team got relaxed in the 2nd half and that’s when Lime came alive! Interesting enough, a certain local housewife here in Potomac is also learning this same lesson right now.

Guess we will have to see if Black and Gizelle Bryant can get back to their top spots! Only time will tell.

11 Whoral (Coral) 1 - 2

Now as a point of personal privilege, as a previous donner of this color team (that just so happened to be the runner-ups last season 😜) I definitely have a soft spot for the team. So I’m glad to see that they have turned it around after a 0-2 start last week with a win against Marine. It may only be week 2, but I know that with Derrick at the helm, this team is definitely gonna turn it up as the season goes on…just like my favorite housewife from Miami, Marysol Patton!

12 The Atoms Family 🫰🫰 (Atomic Blue ) 1 - 2

If there is one thing I love its a comeback story, and Atomic has all the makings of it! I mean, they got knocked down badly in their first game against White. But they dusted themselves off, made some rearrangements, and were able to pull out a win against Light Blue!!! It’s giving their Sophomore season rise, very much so like Lisa Barlow did on RHOSLC.

13 Blue Bombers💊 (Light Blue) 1 - 2

Well with strong veteran leadership this team is off to a fairly decent start. They had a great win over Olive in the morning, before losing a nail-biter to Atomic in the afternoon. But it seems like Adam S. may have ruffled a feather or two of Atomic’s during that game. But thankfully Luis was there to keep things classy, because like the Countess Luann from RHONY always says…

14 Green Peen Queens (Marine Green) 0 - 2

Ahh…my turn up team! If this team is gonna do one thing is brunch and have a good time. I just need them to bring that same turn up energy to the field, cuz 2 sacks and a scoreless 2nd half is not the look of a winning team. But if the brunch turn-up was anything like the folks said it was, y’all for sure were giving RHONY’s Dorinda Medley vibes!!!

15 Pink Pony Club 🐴💗 (Neon Pink) 0 - 2

You know you’re an OG when the league has a saying about you, and this week, Jim definitely lived up to the saying “Trainwreck is gonna Trainwreck”. 3 INT against Neon Orange is not a good look, but listen as the Vicki Gunvalson of DCGFFL, I think he’s earned the right to have a bad game…😕or two! BUT THAT’S ALL YOU GET!!!

16 The Extra Virgins (Olive Green) 0 - 2

“Tick…tock…tick…tock” Sorry, that’s the sound of my clock as I look for this team to get it together. I’m sorry, but with a veteran QB in Hotchkiss, a reigning Sunshine All-Team member in Juan as Captain, and a pretty athletic roster, no reason why yall shouldn’t be 2-0!!! But a blowout loss in Week 1 and a follow-up loss to Light Blue isn’t giving me much confidence. You guys are giving me Dallas housewife LeeAnne Locken cuz I really want to root for y’all!!!

17 Bellagi-Hos (Vegas Gold) 0 - 3

Now Gold, I have to hold your feet to the fire as well…cuz y’all are too talented of a team to be behind the entire game against Forest. It also doesn’t help that you followed up with a loss to Neon Orange later on that day. But at least in that game y’all showed you ain’t no punks! Very much so Potomac’s Candiace Dillard teas!!!

18 Urine Trouble (Yellow) 0 - 3

I hate to say it, but this team is truly living their name, cuz baby, You guys are in trouble! It’s hard to figure out why this team is at the bottom of the pack. Watching them play, it’s definitely not because of a lack of talent nor is it lack of heart. My hope is that they can figure it out and get on the right side of things in the end. But the sad reality is sometimes, the team just doesn’t work out…just like sometimes a housewife really isn’t fit for a show. I think Kim Fields learn that the hard way on RHOA.