Women's+ Season 3 Power Rankings: Week 7

1 First and Gold (Gold) 5-1

First and Gold continues to come up on top in these nail bitters. Some would say that the referees are providing preferential treatment to not be later questioned by politicians for their actions, others would say that these victories are earned. Regardless of theories, this team really is that, a team. Their veteran QB spreads the wealth to everyone, showing no favoritism. Captain Shayne is selfless as ever, playing center, when she is clearly one of the top receivers in the league. Cone Jayme can be seen sashaying down field, dodging defenders left and right, within 3 yards of the line, rookie Angel reliable in the end zone with sticky fingers, Britt attacking the opposing QBs, Mariam making wild catches, and Christine continuing to dive across the field for receptions, even though she claims to be too old to do that. This team is not only together on the field, but off as well crushing crossfit workouts and supporting each other, for example, Meghan, holding babies and calling plays with a black eye and stitches. One can only imagine what would happen if everyone came to a game and played in their preferred position… We are looking forward to the playoffs to see if any team can knock this group of individuals down, perhaps the only way is if the First Lady requires an emergency visit to console upset Chicogians regarding the removal of their beloved “rat hole” on Mother’s Day and a Bee-mergency at USDA, happen simultaneously.


2 Green Beans (Kelly Green) 5-2

This move up in the rankings is brought to you by the supplemental draft and a forefeit. Just kidding. While those two elements have really aided in propelling Greenbean’s rating, ace receivers, killer defense, and positive attitudes have sprouted their success. If no one decides to step up, they could continue the climb to the top and give Meg a 3-peat; do we really need a W+ GOAT/Dynasty established in the first three seasons? Fingers crossed interim Captain Ashely can use her teacher prowess to keep attendance greater than 6 players for the remainder of the season, while #1 Sportsperson and Captain Amy goes overseas to probably run ridiculously far for “fun”. Red’s been on a roll and may steam these beans for Sunday Dinner, but lately, they’ve been nothing but farm fresh and full of vitamins.

3 Bluebies (Navy) 4-3

Bluebies are on a rollercoaster flopping everywhere! This team is still number one in TDs and points, so we guess they could afford a forfeit? There is some level of confidence to be had when you have more attendance at a cookout than the game. Jaimee has thrown 25 TDs to 7 different receivers. This stat is insane to have for her only playing 6 games, with an average attendance of 5 teammates! If anyone is coming for First and Gold in the playoffs, it’s the Bluebies. We are hoping everyone comes to work these last few weeks to topple the reigning champ; we love a zero to hero story. *Go Sox

4 Orange is the New Flag (Texas Orange) 3-3

Orange is the New Flag, what is there to say. The passion. It is so very real. This team leaves it all over the field. Lizzie throwing lasers to Keeley and Tiff, 50 yard dimes to Laila, and juking around defenders. T and Jamilah hold down the Defense with many a sack and INT. However, this team just keeps barely losing to their opponents. There is so much promise here. With one week in the season and a DH ahead of them, this team could climb at least one rung, which would be best, as they’re playing First and Gold, again. This week’s game was so close and competitive, we cannot wait to watch the repeat next week. As an aside, this duo would like to request that Lizzie stop moonlighting as Josh Allen, sans helmet, so she can continue to play out the rest of the season.

5 SapphicFire (Sapphire) 2-5

Sapphicfire’s QB/receiver swap was done just in time. This team is really starting to gel and having Kori’s hands back in the game is a massive win for the group. Rookie QB Sarah M continues to dazzle and amaze the geriatrics on this squad. Refs have begun to complain that they cannot announce the time remaining any louder. We all know that this lack of listening is age related, and not because they are 100% dialed in, as claimed. Sapphicfire was regretting the decision to reduce the second half of their DH game by 5 minutes in order to get a Metamucil in before the cookout, after Sarah, Kori, Aubrie, and Nour marched the team back downfield. Unfortunately, The Greenbean’s clock management took over and stole a victory right from the feet of their walker’s tennis balls. We hope that their game plan is ready, dentures glued in tight, and ready to bare teeth next week against First and Gold.

6 Red-y or Not (Red) 1-5

Maybe we spoke too soon announcing that this team could take the 5 spot. Despite their best second half efforts, Red could not put it together for another blowout win this week. One would have never known that they were losing as Captain Judy could be heard throughout the DMV screaming “Yeah Sherrie!!” and “We got this!!” Red needs to embrace that enthusiasm and feel great! It seems this team’s success depends on their full team attendance. Despite what their record reflects, this team could have a sneaky upset in them come playoffs, as long as they have their full roster (especially their starting QB). This team has some great league talents who can pull it together when they need to and as seen last week, when they come together, it’s an impressive sight to see. Stay strong Red players, winning only matters in the playoffs.