Power Rankings

The Grassholes remain perched at the top—still the only undefeated team in the league. But of course it’s easier to protect that record when you plan strategic forfeits…

As usual, QB Meg L.’s clock management was top tier, and Green chewed up the clock with slow, steady drives, pairing it with a defense that left Light Blue gasping for air. With Ariel S. holding it down at safety and Chelsea T. and Meg B. doing what they do best (picking off the ball), the Grassholes stayed firmly in control and secured another win.

Next up: a doubleheader against Silver and Seafoam. Hope they stretched, because those undefeated muscles are about to get some work in.

The Sinners came ready to atone for last week’s loss, and atone they did. From the first snap, it was clear this was gonna be a good one. Sure, we could say all the ingredients for a win were served to them on a platter—featuring not one but two interceptions—but let’s be real, when Cort H. is cooking, everyone’s eating good.

And it didn’t stop at the offense. Defense was locked in from the start—Cash with yet another pick-six, Britt and Cam keeping the rush spicy, rookie Jessie sealing the deal with a clutch interception, and Kori playing lights out per usual.

Next up: Winter’s coming, as fire meets Icy Hot…and if the Sinners want to keep a top spot in the rankings, they’d better bundle up.

We’d be the first to agree that a little gossip never hurts… but Em B. saying ChatGPT writes the power rankings? THE AUDACITY.

Still, she scored all of Silver’s points in their game against Seafoam (and, in fact, ALL the points scored in this game period), so we’ll let her talk her talk. As “ChatGP☕️” says, “heavy is the head that wears the crown, and louder is the mouth attached to it.”

Next up: The Chromies face off against Forest Green and it should be a match worth watching.

“Shuck ‘em Up” they say? Well, the only thing that got shucked up was Corn’s plan of keeping their number 2 spot once the Sinners turned up the heat.

Still, if there’s anything the Corn Stars know how to do, it’s give a good show, and a good show they gave. This match-up was easily the most competitive one of the day and the only one where the losing team didn’t get completely blown out.

Rookie Ali B. made a strong debut, already looking right at home on Corn’s all-star roster. Mal K.’s blocks were solid (which was to be expected when you’ve got a good-luck charm on the sideline), and the team chemistry seemed to click—which might have been enough to bring home the win if the Sinners weren’t so successful at Cash-ing in on Corn’s mistakes.

Luckily for them, there’s still plenty of season left to pop off and reclaim the top…starting with their next game against Seafoam.

It was another rough one for Icy Hot, who couldn’t quite push through, leaving Forest Green to have their way (as they tend to). Still, the scoreboard doesn’t tell the full story—which is that Light Blue’s defense made the Grassholes work for it.

The rush was strong. Dinora and Ty kept steady pressure on Forest Green’s QB Meg L. all game, forcing her to run out of the pocket far more than we all know she wanted, and even managed to break up a few passes. And rumor has it the Blues gave Meg her only drive this season that didn’t end in a touchdown. On O, Peyton’s reliably sticky hands and QB Ash V.’s willingness to spread the ball around helped them move down the field, but unfortunately for them, the Massholes’ defense was on high alert and managed to shut them down.

Next up: Another chance for them to turn up the heat and redeem themselves when they take on the Sinners.

Another scoreless week for the Foamies 😢🎻🫰🏽. QB Kat seems to still be finding her rhythm. There are no touchdowns yet, but the reads are sharper, the throws tighter, and the interceptions fewer. Probably due to the sticky hands of her receivers and the incredible amount of time she has with KP on the O-Line. But if Seafoam’s QB can channel even half the dominance she brings as a blocker into this role, the Foamies will be just fine—especially since there’s a lot of season left before the start of playoffs wipes the scoreboard clean.

Thankfully, spirits are always high with this group of pleasant humans, and their defense continues to shine under the veteran leadership of Jamilah and Dana.

Next up: Seafoam has a double shot at redemption with a doubleheader against Corn and Forest Green. And while Silver was kind enough not to run up the score (and even called the game early to prevent further injuries), we can’t imagine the Children of the Corn or the Grassholes extending the same mercy.