Season 25 Power Rankings: Week 5
1 PLAYBUOYS (Navy) 5-0
Now listen, this team is cruising through the Pitcher’s Division with one of the highest point differences this season. But will this come to an end next week, when they go head to head with the other undefeated team in their Division, Maroon!
With that being said, I do want to celebrate Chris R. getting his two sacks during the game. However, I cannot also help to think about poor Andy getting barreled over by Chris. You could tell that inner child was very happy with that knockover.
2 Tar👠s (Carolina Blue) 5-0
If Navy has the Pitcher’s Division on lock, it’s looking as though Carolina is right in line with them in the Shaker’s Division. Oriya is not a stingy quarterback & Captain Connor still showing leadership, even though he’s suffering a sidelining injury. But it looks like Aubrie O on Carolina had themselves a DAY! Over 2 games: three TDs, an XP, and an MVP. However I’m sure that Andrew H. would probably want us to forget that awful ending to what could have been an amazing kickoff return for a score!!! I mean sir, you are too old to be tripping over your own feet…in the middle of the field…deep…no one near you…and right in front of your mother too!!!
3 Beet It (Maroon) 4-0
Ok, I will say that I am Salt Bae while I’m writing this post…& yes I am still bitter about it a few days later!
So let me go ahead and say congrats to Maroon on that off play from Coral that allowed y’all to drive the ball down for the win.
No but in seriousness, Maroon played very well. Even without heavy hitters like Mark Hofberg and Drew Crane, the team was able to hold their own and pull out a win. But it was funny when Jordan compared Pat’s run game to his throwing ability. Needless to say, I don’t think he’s anyone’s Forest Gump though!
4 Magnum (Gold) 3-1
Well it appears that this week Andre lived up to his team’s brand, providing protection against a strong Red.
Reports state that Andre was everywhere…if a ball was thrown by Red, Andre intercepted it. If a ball was thrown by Nick, Andre caught it and scored!!! So we raise a glass a to you Andre…while we side eye the rest of the team!
5 No Foamo (Seafoam) 3-1
*Sigh*…take it from someone who has personally experienced playing a game without Ben Hunt, it’s never fun. Watching this game instantly made me reminisce on one of my favorite scene from Mean Girls
Lucky for this team, his absence was during the season (*cough* Fall 22 -White team *cough*). Not to mention, Zach McRae actually showed potential as a backup QB and Aaron scored a TD this game!!! So I’m certain this team will bounce back next week when they take on Lime.
The word being thrown around this team was: COMPETITION and this DC Elite led team held true to that word against Carolina. A very offense heavy game first half and defense heavy game second half, ended up with a 3 point loss for Texas Orange. No real drama for this team in the game (Boo Andrew), although there was one call that was definitely in the air until push came to shove with the refs that ended up with a first down for Carolina and Texas Orange all up in arms.
I must say, this is probably the most level headed team this season. I asked my field reporters to find out the tea on Marine, and they came up empty handed. It’s giving growth and I’m here for it!!! But listen Luis…next week when you play Red, you gotta come hard cause…
But while we celebrate their double digit win over Lime on Sunday, there was some speculation about this one play from our reporters…
Now according to this screenshot, this looks like a sack. But word on the street is that didn’t happen!! Hmm…
8 Choose Violets (Purple) 2-2
Not a bad day for Purple. They went 1-1 on their doubleheader and Ocho was still able to contribute, even though he didn’t get to the first game on time.
But this team got a great snag in OIiver during the supplemental draft and he has shown himself to be a worthy addition to the roster. But next week is gonna be an interesting test for the team when they go up against Sanders and Joe’s White team. Nevertheless we will be watching!
9 Disco Cowboys (Silver) 2-2
First, we should celebrate their decisive victory over Yellow!!! Woo-Hoo!!!
Now onto the Story of the Day- so after attempting to aggressively remove the flags off a Yellow player (to no avail and getting called out for it by the refs) Twon made his frustrations known to everyone.
- Twon: “This is F’n football”
- Everyone; “FLAG FOOTBALL!!!”
- Eduardo: “You just need a hug Twon!”
Luckily two plays later, Twon was able to reel in his aggression and was able to remove the flags with one swift grab. Moral of the story kids: Soft touches work better when it comes to removing flags.
10 Glazed and Confused (White) 2-2
So on one hand, I’m happy to see Sanders and Joe get another win under their belt and get their record to .500. However, I would have loved to see how this game would have ended if Seafoam had their QB present. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely think they could have still won, but the game may have been much closer and I’m sure
But hey I love a win, by any means necessary…so guess what?
11 The Boy is Lime (Lime) 2 - 3
Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate this team’s love for a 2000s R&B classic (and FYI I will always do Monica’s part at karaoke).
I really do enjoy this team, they have all the parts to be a successful team, including rookie player Art who is really coming into his own. There was literally nothing that could be improved on, so it’s unfortunate that they lost both games on Sunday and their record is below 500.
12 The Icebergs (Sapphire) 2-3
I must say, it was great to see the Honorable JKW and his partner Javi come out of retirement to referee the Sapphire game. But it seems as though in this courtroom, Sapphire didn’t have the evidence to win their case. First of all, it took most of the first half for the team to get the ball down into the endzone. Not to mention that this was Andy’s first game back in the QB position. But I have faith that
13 Coralingus (Coral) 1-3
*Sigh* Watching (& playing in) this game felt like I was in the story Cinderella. The fairy godmother came and gave the team the lead going into the second half, but she left them with one rule: you must hold onto the ball until the final clock strikes. As the game went on, Coral was enjoying the game, continuing to expand their lead, preparing to celebrate their happy ending by earning a win and giving Maroon their first lost. However, when the clock did strike midnight, the glass slipper fell into a million pieces as we watched the ball fall into the hands of Maroon for the interception, giving them enough time to score one more time for the win. And the team did not live happily ever after
I don’t think I can read that story ever again….
14 Left You On Red (Red) 1-3
Ahh, our resident old heads team! Listen one thing about this team is they have the fundamentals down as the team was handing out sacks left and right to gold (5 stops and 6 sacks). But it appears that our living legend Jim had an unfortunate moment or two, which has kinda become par for the course.….guess Jim Connelly gonna Jim Connelly
But it was nice that Trainwreck was kind enough to bring his team cupcakes post game,
15 Plan Bees (Yellow) 1-4
This team definitely has the star power to be successful with a phenomenal QB who I must say, could have a future in ballet the way he twirled around rushers with such grace.
But when you’re going against Silver, it pretty hard to have any standout moments, and in this case a 12 point loss to them isn’t worth talking about. However, next week they’re taking on Sapphire, so I got faith y’all going to turn the train around!!! Just remember
16 Neon’s Messi (Neon Pink) 1-4
They won!!!! Demetrian and Waggoner got a win!!!!
That could literally be the entire post! But I’ll write a little more! You know, I was definitely worried about this team. The way their first four games went, I just didn’t think they were gonna catch a break this season. But look how the sunshine came in and they got a win!!!
Now don’t let it be your last!!!
I don’t care what the record says, they not getting the last spot this week!!!
This team played Sunday with only 7 people, which according to Levert wasn’t their strongest members. Yet, they were able to get their smallest earn margin against a non-pushover Purple! I think we are on the verge of a 2nd half comeback for this team!!!
SN: TJ and Dwayne, whenever yall ready to start T4 (Thick Thighs Twerk Team)…holler at me!!!
18 Black Holes (Black) 0-4
Oh Kozak! You know I love you, my blocking partner in crime! But I’m concerned that you’re going to follow in the footsteps of Spring 22 Boats N’ Hoes (DCGFFL History Lesson - they were the last team to have a defeated season, never winning a game). Not to mention, your double header next week includes undefeated Carolina and an old guard Red team. I don’t know what you gotta do before next week but…