Season 25 Power Rankings: Week 6
1 PLAYBUOYS (Navy) 6-0
- JC can still pull out a W even while amidst the throes of a hangover and getting yelled at about the ref schedule.
- Juan and Kevin are really good at football.
- Chris Riotta-Rogers’ celebration dances have a heterosexual “the rent is due tomorrow” kind of urgency.
- As right tackle, Aaron Ross stood planted like Adele at her Las Vegas residency. No sacks from this side, though!
2 Tar👠s (Carolina Blue) 5-1
- Connor’s commitment to the soccer mom bit is unparalleled.
- Aubrie is THEE one to watch.
- With Oriya out for the next 2 weeks, I expect this team to just try and make it to the playoffs healthy. We’re all excited to watch our Director of Players, Paul, line up under center, though!
- Reigning Rookie of the Year, Andrew Hoyler, is the bobblehead, as Ivan snatched a ball from him for a pick 6 return, changing the momentum of the game.
3 No Foamo (Seafoam) 4-1
- Having your regular season QB makes a huge difference. (We love you, Zach; thanks for stepping up!)
- Chris gets really mad at you if you run slowly and if the refs don’t call a block in the back, but he refuses to curse.
- Captain Matt H makes Ben look good.
4 Beet It (Maroon) 4-1
- This is the best season QB Pat has ever had in the DCGFFL.
- Jordan Anderson is also really good at football.
5 Magnum (Gold) 4-1
- Rookie QB Nick has an arm! He needs some red zone plays, though.
- Straight man and Rookie of the Year contender, Andre, looks good in a crop top jersey.
- Sasha is slept on by defenders, but she is always in position!
- Trey will lobby power rankings writers for recognition. Baby, let what y’all do on the field speak.
- Bryan really drafted himself a set of tall receivers. No, but, actually men who are >6ft and don’t just say that on the apps.
- They don’t really play defense, however, as both of their games had scores of 35 points or more on both sides. Some west coast offense scores if I’ve ever seen them.
- Mello and Brommell running after each other took me back to my carefree, whimsical elementary school days.
- Mary in her high-ponytail puts in work!
- Cam still throws some incredible balls to…no one. Lamar, sometimes, I guess.
- Offensive schemes seem hard for this team to digest. Time to break out the sideline white board!
- QB Hotchkiss has 3 offensive coordinators on this team and none of them are him.
- Their drives take forever because, wow, is every second of that play clock used.
- Ben M is a real swiss army knife – from QB to leading safety on this team! Who knew? Cheers to our Bostonian!
9 The Icebergs (Sapphire) 3-3
- This team was happy to have Garrett back, and I’m sure this was the most welcomed he’s ever felt. Look at DCGFFL creating families!
- Garrett was also on his Cam Newton with those rushing TDs!
- Camille is finally off of the IR; Recto makes a return next week; and, hopefully, if Andy feels better, too, we should expect this team at full strength to make a statement before the playoffs!
10 Choose Violets (Purple) 3-2
- Purple can hunker down! They just barely eked out this W over White in overtime.
- Apparently, they’re some kind of defensive powerhouse with 4 picks–2 done by Ryan Winter? Okay, athlete!
11 Disco Cowboys (Silver) 3-2
- Brandon and AJ can actually stay calm when there’s drama abound! Come through, maturity!
- AJ can actually take ownership of his throws. No Derek Carr yelling at his receivers to finish the route even though the ball was off target here!
12 Black Holes (Black) 2-4
- DCGFFL veteran Kozak can certainly look the part of coach as she sat along the sideline.
- He is also apparently unnecessary to his team as they pulled out 2 Ws this week.
- Participation from your QB, unfortunately, does make a difference
13 Left You On Red (Red) 2-4
- Jim Connelly needs some kind of feedback loop for plays. But, I mean, sure, if it doesn’t work the first time, it’ll definitely work the 3rd and the 4th times!
- 58 yo Sam Smallwood is a starting corner next week as he was all over the field breaking up plays and with a pick six in their game against Marine Green! Let’s go, DCGFFL Sauce Gardner!
14 Coralingus (Coral) 2-4
- Obie sometimes likes to show hole while running for a 1st down.
- Newly minted dad, Jorge, can run hip-to-hip with some very fast receivers, but does not know to turn around and bat a ball away.
- PJ barks when we rushes
15 The Boy is Lime (Lime) 2 - 4
- Game tape can be humbling. Just ask Pete next time you see him. It’s okay, babe, you really were…so…close!
16 Plan Bees (Yellow) 1-5
- A limit to Austin’s positivity might actually exist
18 Neon’s Messi (Neon Pink) 1-5
- That this whole team now knows how Roxxxy Andrews felt at that bus stop: abandoned!