Open Division Season 26 Power Rankings: Week 5 & 6

1 Royal Tightness 💙 (Royal Blue) 6 - 0

Here’s a haiku for Royal Blue inspired by Taylor Swift’s “Dead Poets Society” album:

You are number one.

Did you show up hungover?

Double-header next.

Week 5 (1st): I’d say I’m surprised, but it seems like we’re getting a repeat of Season 25 with JC leading his team to an undefeated season. To make matters worse, Royal was missing about a third of their roster and they still won…

2 You Got Moss'd (Forest Green) 6 - 1

Hmm…I’m rethinking my comments last week. Bringing back my psychic powers, this is the team to watch over the next three weeks.

Week 5 (5th): The girlies will be mad you’re this high in the rankings. However, you dodged a bullet with this forfeit and you know it! I hope you enjoyed your Sunday Funday.

3 Grey 4 Pay (Dark Grey) 5 - 1

Grey 4 Pay showed up and showed out on Sunday winning both games in their double-header weekend. They were one-point games but a win is a win. How long can they keep this energy going? #AaronSforSportsperson

Week 5 (7th): It was one of the closest games of the day and these players held it together to come out on top. Great plays by the Matt duo leading their team to victory. With two double headers coming up, can this team take it all the way?

4 3-6-9, Damn Good Lime (Lime Shock) 5 - 1

Listen, you didn’t have to do my team (Seafoam) like that. When I said more points on the scoreboard I meant on another team. At least buy us a drink before you ask us to “bend over to the front and touch your toes.”

Week 5 (3rd): I was expecting more from this team. Maybe more exciting plays, maybe more points on the scoreboard. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But sitting at number 3 this week, this team has something going right.

5 Neon My Face (Neon Orange) 5 - 2

I told you it would be temporary. I’m glad you could all join us on Sunday for flag football.

Week 5 (18th): Wait, what? What are we doing? How did we get here? Trust me, I am shocked too. But listen, when you take yourself out of the game, this is where you end up. Hopefully, it is only temporary.

BTW - How was Coachella? How was brunch, Aaron B?

6 Blacked-Out Barbies (Black) 5 - 2

Last week, I ranked you second and I’m not mad about it. Sadly, I didn’t make it to the fields for those sideline snacks, but these Barbies ate in their first game against Cardinal. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the story for the second game. Whomp whomp!

Week 5 (2nd): I like the energy on this team. Finding themselves almost at the top, this week’s doubleheader against very tough teams might be a tough ride for these Barbies…

P.S. Kozak, bring more sideline snacks this week

7 Field of Creams (White) 4 - 2

All good things take time and each week this team is getting better and better. With a decent schedule remaining, I’ll be interested in their progress.

Week 5 (6th): The talent on this team is pretty remarkable. I can tell Captain Michael B. wants another shot at the championship game this season.

8 Pink Pony Club 🐴💗 (Neon Pink) 4 - 3

Several late arrivals during their first game gave Pink a slow start. They needed you, Obie! However, they brought it in their second game against Seafoam.

Week 5 (9th): It was a close game for Pink Pony Club and Olive. Luckily, Pink surpassed their opponent despite some confusion on a touchdown. BTW, do we still have that PEP rule? Just wondering…

9 The Hot Ones (Cardinal) 4 - 3

I am trying to keep my job (not really a job) as a power rankings writer so I won’t mention the drama, reprimand, discussion, and undoing that occurred during the game. A lot of back and forth, like this game. Sadly, these hot ones were a little too…cold.

Week 5 (4th): Coming off the field, CRR was a bit miffed that the sideline was silent even though you were in no danger of losing against Atomic. The big reveal was Zo’s jersey being ripped off by the opposing team. If I got a quarter every time a jersey ripped on the field…I’d be able to buy this team some sideline cheers.

10 The Extra Virgins (Olive Green) 3 - 4

It was a back-and-forth game until Olive allowed Grey to pick up some steam. I still see a lot of potential in this team and I’m not ready to count them out yet.

Week 5 (10th): An even split on Sunday and overall record for these Virgins. I saw some great plays from this team on the field and can see them being “extra extra” dangerous during the playoffs.

11 My Little Foamies (Seafoam) 3 - 4

Rant: Somebody is really playin’ in our face right now. Two double-header weekends back to back and we had to play both games on the Maryland field?!? Keep your heads up, Foamies, we’re coming back bigger and better for the playoffs, final four, and championship. P.S. - I’ll be a better forever family member, smooches.

Week 5 (8th): First off, I would like to comment card on the FIVE 9:00am games our team had on the schedule this season. Luckily, we play the last one this week – you can sleep in a little Jean. We finally found our stride last Sunday winning both games. A second double-header Sunday will hopefully bring another double win for these Foamies.

12 Blue Bombers💊 (Light Blue) 2 - 4

Things were looking pretty good for Light Blue at halftime until Neon Orange found some mid-game energy and dominated. Looks like you’ll need to go BIGGER for a win this week.

Week 5 (11th): The average age of this team is [redacted] but they still got it. Though they didn’t quite show it this week against White; they’ll need to go big for a win this week.

13 Whoral (Coral) 2 - 5

OK CORAL, I see you! Y’all said, “We’ve learned from our mistakes last week and we’re in it to win it!” Several players had a great game and the entire team banded together to pull out a win in double overtime against Atomic.

Week 5 (15th): Talk about a battle! I heard this team was so close to tying the game and going into overtime had a certain player not made a last-second mistake. We all know the regular season is “just for fun” and I can see this team doing some damage during playoffs.

14 Grape Sexpectations 🍇 (Purple) 2 - 5

Ok, maybe you shouldn’t call me a psychic.

Week 5 (12th): Sunday wasn’t too great for Grape Sexpectations and things got a little heated on the sideline from the offense. They played their second doubleheader weekend of the season against the number one team in the league (Royal) and a team that’s on its way to a top spot (Seafoam). Shout out to My Little Foamies

Don’t let last week get you down, you’re playing Vegas Gold next…you’ll be fine.

15 The Atoms Family 🫰🫰 (Atomic Blue ) 1 - 5

Maybe all that partyin’ at Sunday Funday got the best of Atomic as they fought through a double-overtime loss to Coral this week. I heard the sidelines were getting a bit heated although not as feisty as other games (oh, we will go there later). I did get to Shake ‘N Bake (Shakers) this week and can verify this team has a good time on and off the field.

Week 5 (13th): This team has a lot of spirit. I love the sideline chants and overall energy. I hear the second half of the game did not fare well for The Atoms, but they sure know how to have a good time at Sunday Funday.

16 Urine Trouble (Yellow) 1 - 6

It’s been a while since this team has seen a W on the scoreboard. Last week, I advised Purple not to sweat their L because they play Gold next and we saw what happened… So this is me saying “bring your A game” and by “A” I mean Andy, Amanda, and A. Gordo (love you, mean it!)

Week 5 (14th): I was rooting for you on the sidelines. I think the team knew its fate long before the game started but, they played with a lot of heart and enthusiasm.

17 Bellagi-Hos (Vegas Gold) 1 - 5

Call me a psychic! Congratulations on your first win.

Week 5 (16th): You fought hard and put up a good challenge against Seafoam. A win might be in your future this week or maybe next week…or the week after that.

18 Green Peen Queens (Marine Green) 0 - 6

My exes and oooh oooh oh’s, they haunt me…


Week 5 (17th): I’m impressed. No, for real. I’ve never seen a team with a whiteboard and Expo markers charting out X’s and O’s at halftime. The organization and professionalism is superior, but this team just can’t figure out the right strategy. Don’t worry, queens, your butterflies will take flight one day.